The Thing is a song in the video Very Silly Songs.
Plot[]
As the kids go to the docks, one of them asks what that thing behind them is. Silly Willy points out to them that it's a box. Some of the kids were desperate to find out what's in it but Silly Willy would not let them open it. When asked why, Silly Willy tells them in song about when it was discovered.
Trivia[]
Whenever "a ******" is heard, the listener can fill in blanks to replace three stomps (i.e. Octopus, Doggone thing, etc.)
This song is originally sung by Phil Harris, but in this version, the fourth verse about a hobo was replaced with Fred the town policeman, and the fifth verse about St. Peter was replaced with Silly Willy trying to give the box away to the townsfolk.
Intro[]
- Ariki: What's that?
- Silly Willy: Oh, that? Uh, that's a box.
- Hillary: Well, we can see that.
- Silly Willy: Well, it's a very troublesome box. You don't want to mess with it.
- Patty: What's in it?
- Silly Willy: Believe me, you don't want to know.
- Jamie: Why not?
- Silly Willy: It's a very long story.
Lyrics[]
- Silly Willy:
- While I was walkin' down the beach
- One bright and sunny day,
- I saw a great big wooden box
- A-floatin' in the bay.
- I pulled it in and opened it up
- And much to my surprise -
- Ooooh!
- I discovered a ******
- Right before my eyes!
- Together:
- (RPT last 2 lines of stanza)
- Silly Willy:
- I picked it up and ran to town
- As happy as a king.
- I took it to a guy I knew
- Who'd buy most anything.
- But this is what he hollered at me
- As I walked in his shop:
- Junkman:
"Oh, get out of here with that ****** before I call a cop!"
- Together:
- (RPT last 2 lines of stanza)
- Silly Willy:
- I turned around and got right out
- A-runnin' for my life;
- And then I took it home with me
- To give it to my wife.
- But this is what she hollered at me
- As I walked in the door...
- Wife:
- " Oh, get out of here with that ****** and don't come back no more!"
- Together:
- (RPT last 2 lines of stanza)
- Silly Willy:
- I wandered all around the town
- Until I chanced to meet
- Fred, the town policeman
- Who was walking on his beat.
- He wasn't scared of anything
- He was a big brave man,
- But when I showed him the ******,
- He turned around and ran!
- Together:
- Oh! (RPT last 2 lines of stanza)
- Silly Willy:
- I wandered on for many years,
- With my box in hand;
- I tried to give it away
- To anyone in the land.
- They'd open the lid and take a look
- And this is when they'd say:
- Townsfolk:
- "Get out of here with that ****** 'n' take it far away!"
- Together:
- Oh! (RPT the townsfolk's phrase once more)
- Silly Willy:
- The moral of the story is:
- If you're out on the beach,
- And you should see a great big box
- And it's within your reach,
- Don't ever stop and open it up!
- That's my advice to you
- Cause, you'll never get rid of the ****** no matter what you do!
- ALL:
- (RPT last 2 lines)
- Ooooh, you'll never get rid of the ******, no ma-a-a-a-tter-r-r-r... wha-a-a-t you-ou... do-o-o-o-o-o-o!